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Once upon a time, Little Red Riding Hood's mother (being concerned about the increase in violence in rural America) gave Little Red a .45 caliber gun for protection. Little Red kept this gun in her basket.

One summer day while on the way to her grandmother's house, a big bad wolf jumped out from behind a tree and howled to her, "I'm going to screw your brains out!"

Little Red pulled out her gun from the basket and calmly replied, "Oh no you're not, you're going to eat me like the story says."
. . .

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